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We Come in War and Peace

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Originally proposed by krinsbez on AH.com, this one has been a long time coming. Enjoy! :) 

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On July 4th, 2012, they attacked without warning. There 
couldn't have been any warning; their mothership emerged from voidspace right in Earth orbit, and began the assault immediately. Massive flying saucers positioned themselves over major urban areas and fired energy pulses that wiped them out completely. The sheer mass of their fleet, particularly their mothership, caused tidal fluctuations that flooded coastal cities around the world. This effect, actually unanticipated by the alien invaders, served to bring more chaos to a world already scrambling to defend itself. Nuclear arsenals didn't work - the missiles were swatted out of the skies by point-defense lasers, and those that did make it through couldn't pierce the aliens' shields. Attempting to introduce a computer virus into the ships to disable their vital systems did not work - even though the humans used a captured alien computer to initiate their attack, the aliens had already lost an invasion fleet to a cyber attack and were well prepared with antivirus software. Naturally, more conventional weapons had no effect. Then their allies, the long-dormant Martians, joined the fray. The aliens had no interest in taking prisoners, instead destroying every humans settlement they could find and starting mining operations in desolate areas. It seemed as though mankind would be wiped out on its own homeworld.

Mankind's salvation came in the form of another alien species, one believed to be myth until they were forced to reveal themselves. The grays, a diminutive extraterrestrial species, has been hiding on Earth since the late 1940s with the help of the American and Russian governments. Refugees from the wars started by the Invaders, as they called them[1], the grays wished to assist mankind in its ascent to the stars as thanks for giving them refuge, but got caught up in New Age nonsense in the 60s and decided as a whole to bum out on air force bases and smoke dried ginger all day. Fortunately, the grays did have some of their advanced relics lying around, and new how to use them - a gray teleporter was used to send the Invader mothership's core into the Void, powering down the craft and causing it to explode as all of its antimatter containment systems failed. The grays had their revenge, and the Invaders were stuck in-system. Unfortunately, using decades-old technology that has not been maintained is a one shot deal, and the grays' last teleporter broke from the stress. The mothership's remains rained down on the earth, devastating the environment and causing a short-term nuclear winter that killed even more people. To make matters worse, the Invaders were now desperate to win, and they still had an entire fleet of city-sized spacecraft. They changed their mission from extermination to conquest, and sought to turn Earth into their new home. This was actually fairly easy, given the similarity of the Invaders' biology to that of Terran life. Of course, once the human powers learned of this, they came up with a new master plan - crashing Earth's ecosystem with what remained of their nuclear arsenals. Unwilling to let the humans destroy their last remaining refuge, the Invaders were forced to the negotiating table. A few remaining human states would remain independent, while the Invaders and their Martian allies took the rest of the planet. 

Of course, this wouldn't last. News of the Invaders' "defeat" reached the furthest corners of the galaxy, and caused a scramble for Terra. The Saurians, the Tsoukaloids, and the Europans[2], each with a special interest on Earth in particular, invaded throughout the 2020s while the warring powers were weakened. The Saurians and the Tsoukaloids had dominated Earth in prehistoric times, while the Europans were in-system and saw an opportunity to take the only other water-rich body in the system. Although incapable of fighting the Invaders on equal terms, this second wave of aliens managed to overwhelm the Invaders' defenses. These invaders brought with them two parasite species - the Brainleeches were a pest for the Europans, and lived in the septic tanks of their ships, while the Parasite had infected several Saurian craft and crashed into Burma to spread the infection. This second wave strengthened mankind's alliance with itself and the grays, leading the humans to give the grays their own territories in exchange for iron-clad promises to further mankind's technological capabilities to give them a fighting chance against the hostile aliens. 

Then there was the third wave of invasions, heralded by the Systems Protectorate. The Protectorate, a collection of alien species that swore to defend the galaxy's downtrodden from invasion, attempted to save the Earth as soon as they heard of the invasion. Red tape delayed their intervention by decades, and even then their intervention force was incapable of retaking Earth. The Systems Protectorate only managed to take southern Africa, where the people welcomed them as liberators. This did not last, as the Protectorate began to impose harsh military rule on the humans they liberated, causing the formation of anti-Protectorate movements. The invasion of the Protectorate caught the attention of the Formics, which typically follow the Protectorate around the galaxy to consume weakened worlds. Invader, Protectorate and gray defenses destroyed much of the Formic invasion fleet, leaving only a few infested asteroids to collide in Central Asia and northern Mexico. The Integrated Systems, a group of sapient self-replicating machines, were also attracted to Earth by the invasion, and landed in the Sahara. 

It has been nearly forty years since First Contact, and the world awaits what seems to be the start of a fourth wave of invasions. The Invaders, a diminutive species of humanoids, rule over their portions of Earth with an iron fist. The Invaders are a locust-like species, one whose homeworld was destroyed long ago in a cataclysmic supernova, and whose entire species moved from planet to planet in their invasion fleet. The Invaders normally strip-mine a planet for resources, targeting inhabited worlds out of a fervent jealousy of any species that still has an intact homeworld. For millions of years, the Invaders have traveled from system to system, earning them the ire of the galactic community and even provoking several genocidal crusades against them. Of course, the invaders have always managed to escape, until they found Earth. Life in Invader-occupied Earth is hellish. Most humans are slaves, implanted with bombs at birth, which will detonate if they are overly disobedient or try to escape. While the Invaders normally do not use slaves, opting instead for extermination, the lack of manpower has forced their tendrils[3]. Most Invaders stay in their city destroyers, the massive saucer-shaped spacecraft they used during their initial invasion, which hover above the shanties built atop Earth's ruined cities. The Invaders are planning to leave the Earth by building a Void engine and placing it on a city destroyer, but since their mothership had all of the plans, they have to either reinvent the Void engine or steal a design from one of the other alien species on Earth. 

The Martians, otherwise known as Little Green Men (LGMs), remain aligned with the Invaders. They originally evolved on Mars, but were forced to flee the planet approximately 65 million years ago after their war with the saurians. They have spent the past few millennia bouncing from planet to planet, until they met the Invaders. They like their flying saucers, tripods and death rays, and wanted to conquer Earth because 1. they want to secure the entire Sol System for prestige purposes, 2. they think it's funny, and 3. for some reason bovine proteins have an effect on them similar to cocaine with a human, so they want to corner the supply of cows in the galaxy. They're also addicted to human snacks, because every good stoner needs munchies. They have spent most of their time ruling their portions of Earth making humans do stupid things, like carving Mt. Rushmore clones for themselves[4]. As the name implies, they are small, green, and humanoid, although they lack visible mouths[5]. However, there are many strains of genetically engineered LGMs, which aren't very little. Their leadership caste are actually very tall and thin, but are rarely seen on Earth because the gravity would break them. In fact, their standard footsoldiers are about ten feet tall and look like they're members of an East German shot put team, but they're dumb as rocks and have to be commanded by the four foot something sergeant with the death ray. They have built an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator on the Moon, and are aiming it at Earth. The Invaders don't want them to fire it just yet[6], but to do so if the Invaders start to seriously lose ground.

Ayyy, it turns out the tinfoil hat crew were right: there were aliens hiding in Area 51! The grays are a marginalized species that have been driven from their home system by the Invaders and kicked out of every other place they've tried to settle in, finally deciding to crash on Earth in 1948. However, their influence is far more limited than conspiracy nuts believed: most of their technology was too advanced and translation of technical terms only achieved in the early 2000s. Reverse engineering brought doom to Earth: it was the activation of the first human-built Void drive that attracted the Invaders to the planet[7]. Gray technology is similar to Invader tech[8], but while Invader tech is far more compact and efficient, the grays have the upper hand in genetic engineering. As human understanding of gray technology grew, humanity's strength compared to the invading aliens grew. With the blessing of the Men in Black, the overarching organization of humans they protect, they have been engineering human-alien hybrids to fight back the various alien invaders and to have weird sex with. About that last bit: gray culture on Earth has been radically transformed by the Sixties counterculture, which they never grew out of. This is why they've adopted a lot of New Age bullshit that they try to use to "enlighten" humanity with[9], to the eternal chagrin of the Men in Black. When they aren't helping out mankind or having weird alien sex, the grays are getting high off ginger, which is both a hallucinogen and aphrodisiac to the aliens. 

An early attempt by the Invaders to infiltrate the Men in Black, the slendermen are a human/Invader hybrid that are intended to look like bog-standard government agents. While some of these infiltrators are very good, one of them succeeding in assassinating the President of the American Emergency Government by dressing as a prostitute, most of them reflect a lack of LGM understanding of human physiology and psychology. As their name implies, slendermen are very tall and thin, always wear a pastiche of a suit[10] , and sometimes lack facial features. Those that do look passably human always move strangely, or stand still for unnervingly long periods of time, and when they speak it sounds like a dog trying to imitate a Russian trying to speak English while chewing gravel. Since they're largely failures, the Invaders have dumped them all over Earth, where they have formed their own communities that sometimes collaborate with humans. The grays have adopted them as a "project species," leading to the propagation of annoying nonsense among Men in Black offices. 

Named after the infamous Ancient Aliens host as a joke, the enigmatic Tsoukaloids are responsible for the development of a global human civilization but were forced to retreat behind the Moon after a cataclysmic war with the Elder Ones. Their technology is advanced, but pales in comparison with what the other aliens are using; what was impressive for Neolithic mankind isn't so impressive to the other spacefaring species. Their technology does resemble that of early man: lots of floating pyramids, laser cannons that are crafted out of gold and shaped like cobras, and their craft are armored in super-dense material that superficially resembles sandstone. A lot of effort has gone into making Tsoukaloid technology look in this way, which reveals the Tsoukaloids' greatest weakness - they are obsessed with theatrics. Pyramids? Large and impressive. Gold and jewelry everywhere? Everyone loves bling. Human sacrifice? Audiences love blood and guts. Their entire culture has degraded, revolving around looking impressive, and when faced with the biggest threat to their existence since the Elder Ones, they don't hold up. After the invasion of the Moon, they have reestablished a foothold in Egypt and are aiding the human resistance.

The original sapients from Earth, these bird-like[11] "aliens" were driven off Earth 65 million years ago. They've spent the rest of that time hiding from the Invaders, Martians and other local bad guys, finally returning to Earth after they heard of the Invader...invasion. Saurian tech is actually fairly advanced, and capable of going toe-to-toe with the Invaders, even if like the Tsoukaloids it looks like something out of The Flintstones. They are masters of genetic engineering, and have engineered giant war monsters based on the genetic stock they took with them millions of years ago[12]. The saurians, favoring hot, humid climates, have taken those areas for themselves. While initially friendly to humans, the saurians have turned to enslaving the humans in their territories after finding out what they used to power their vehicles before First Contact. Human explanations that fossil fuels are mostly from dead single-celled creatures has fallen on deaf ear-holes. 

The Brainleech infestation has been mitigated thanks to modern medicine. The Invaders don't want anyone stealing their slaves, and the humans don't want anyone stealing possible guerrillas, so both have made tremendous efforts to ensure that the Brainleeches are contained. Now, removing a Brainleech is a simple visit to the clinic. Resembling oversized, neon-green slugs, a Brainleech will attach itself to the head or spinal cord of a victim and take control of that victim. The Brainleech feeds on bodily fluids, and will feed on a host until it dies. Having access to its victim's memories, the Brainleech will attempt to convince others to place themselves in situations where they may also be infested. Unfortunately, Brainleeches are not very bright, and these attempts are often limited to the infectee telling a potential victim to put on a hat they have provided, or outright telling them to place a Brainleech on their face. Since Brainleeches are blind, they sometimes attach themselves to victims' faces, making their attempts at infiltration rather comical. 

Systems Protectorate rule in Africa has become more and more brutal as the years grind on. The humans have been relegated to human-only ghettoes, while the families of Protectorate peacekeepers live in clean, wealthy communities. The humans are constantly watched, via surveillance systems and human spies, to "protect" them from pro-Invader rebels. Ironically, the totalitarianism of the Systems Protectorate has actually made many humans turn to the Invaders as a source of arms and monetary support in their struggle, making this danger self-fulfilling. The multi-species nature of the Protectorate is also making life difficult for humans - some Protectorate species find Earth's atmosphere toxic, and are dumping chemicals that are toxic to humans into formerly human zones without their permission[13]. Technically, this is a violation of Protectorate regulations, but with home office thousands of light-years away and engaged in hundreds of more important cases, Earth slips through the bureaucratic cracks. With the invasion of the Universal Union and the Invaders' desperation for a faster-than-light system, the Protectorate has scuttled all of its ships' Void engines, intentionally stranding themselves. However, they are willing to fight the long battle, and they already have a solution to the rebel problem - forced cybernetic assimilation. 

The Europans are content to stick to the coasts and their undersea settlements. Aquatic by nature, the Europans are a crustacean-like species linked by pheromones and wireless uplinks to a mass of sapient coral that has deposited itself in the middle of the Marinara Trench. The Europans are a generally peaceful species, with powerful weapons that can turn a heavily armored man into jelly, but the aggression of the Invaders has forced the Europans into the human camp. The Europans and the humans do not compete for the same environment, and so an alliance was natural; in fact, human toxic waste has made Earth's oceans friendlier to the Europans, and the Europans hope to help humanity reassert its dominance over the land so they can begin "europaforming" the oceans again. Masters of genetic engineering and cybernetics, the Europans are deadly even on land, and their landsharks are particularly terrifying[14].

Beneath the Earth, the Subterraneans are starting to make their displeasure known. Although not technically aliens, Subterranean biology would certainly qualify them - they are silicon-based creatures that can withstand tremendous heat and pressure, but quickly die in the relative vacuum that is one atmosphere of pressure. Not much is known about their society, but it is known that they hate Invader deep mining operations, presumably because it destroys their settlements. They make this displeasure known by causing massive fissures or bursts of lava in areas that they think mining operations are taking place in. This has led to some rather unfortunate mistaken identity cases. 

To the Formics, the Earth is like a petri dish. The rich, nutrient-filled soil and atmosphere[15] has caused Formic hives to grow out of control. Although not led by any intelligence, the Formics are instinctive killers, their claws and acid posing a threat even to heavily-armed forces. However, the Formics' strength lies in their numbers - millions of Formic war-forms can be raised in a matter of weeks, and to the Formics casualties are no object. The Formics are technically one species that takes many forms, from microscopic consumers of detritus, to swift hunter-killers, to massive "organs" the size of city blocks. However, most mobile Formics resemble insects such as ants and termites, hence the name. The Formics have only one goal - to make more of themselves and consume anything that isn't a Formic. While the Formics can digest bedrock, the Formics prefer organic materials found in most species, including humans, grays and Invaders. Those captured by the Formics are thrown into large digestion pits located deep behind Formic lines. In Central Asia, the Aral Sea has been filled with Formic jelly. This "Blob" is a highly corrosive, highly toxic substance that consumes all moisture and turns it into a slurry that only Formics can consume. What keeps the Formics from taking over is heat - the Formics have a low tolerance for heat, and most weapons on Earth primarily kill using heat. 

In Burma, the Parasite continues its slow growth. Unlike the Formics, which replace the local ecosystem, the Parasite transforms it for its own purposes. The Parasite can be considered one massive superorganism, one with a malevolent intelligence that sees every other lifeform in the universe as something to corrupt. The Parasite attacks at a microscopic level, rewiring the victim's DNA (or equivalent) to produce cells that the Parasite can use to further itself. This is normally in the form of transforming the victim into a spore colony, but in these times of great hostility the Parasite normally transforms its victims into combat units. Unfortunately for the Parasite, and fortunately for everyone else, atmospheric oxygen is toxic to the Parasite, so airborne infection is impossible and Parasite spores will not last long on an exposed surface. The toxicity of atmospheric oxygen also forces the infected to find an anaerobic environment in order to fully mutate, thus slowing the rate of the Parasite's growth. 

The Integrated Systems are akin to both the Formics and the Parasite in that it just wants to grow and make more of itself. What separates the Integrated Systems from the others is that it is an artificial lifeform, a machine designed by an ancient alien species to seek out civilization and eliminate them before they become threats. Ironically, the Integrated Systems avoid civilizations that would actually threaten a spacefaring species, because then they would be destroyed. Once the Integrated Systems find a planet, they begin transforming the entire planet into more automated drones. This process takes millions of years, but the Integrated Systems' creators were obviously planning for the long game. Powered by solar energy, it is very difficult to stop the Integrated Systems, but electromagnetic pulse weapons do the trick. However, with human, Invader and Protectorate arsenals woefully understocked, the Integrated Systems continue to thrive in the Sahara. 

In Japan, another cybernetic threat has taken over. Beamed down from an Invader city destroyer, evidently in retaliation for attempting to infect the Invader mothership, Japan's entire computer network was infected by a malevolent computer virus, which promptly began manufacturing war machines to kill every human it could find. Nothing went to waste - car parts were fused with corpses and guns to create horrifying servitors of death. Although the infection was limited to Japan, as every other nation quickly cut itself off from Japan, the Virus was given free reign over the Japanese archipelago. Now, the Japanese people are gone, and what remains of them are mutants engineered by the Virus to serve as platforms for cybernetic monstrosities that are occasionally unleashed on mainland Asia. The other powers would do something to stop the Virus, but they fear that the Virus would capture one of their computer systems and promptly spread itself around the planet. 

The Universal Union has arrived on this Earth after a failed Invader attempt at rebuilding a Void drive tore a hole in space-time open. Infamous for subjugating entire universes, the Universal Union uses strange insectoid war machines to do their bidding. While they must have expected a quick war, resistance on Earth proved tougher than the Universal Union's initial invasion force could handle, and they have been forced into a small portion of southern Europe and Asia Minor. The Universal Union's attacks have stopped, and recon footage has shown them constructing massive, kilometer-tall skyscrapers in major cities in the region. Perhaps they are planning for a second wave?

The chaos of Earth has attracted the Watchers, extradimensional beings who, as their name indicates, just…watch. Beings resembling artfully-crafted glass, the Watchers hover above points of interest (or uninterest) and seemingly take notes. Their arrival and disappearance is totally unpredictable. They are not hostile, and firing upon them seems to have no effect. Indeed, some daring Invaders have tried to crash their aircraft through some Watchers, but their craft just passed through. It is said that the Watchers don't fully exist in this dimension, but those that say that tend to be really, really high grays. 

Chaos also attracts the violent and the greedy, and wouldn't you know it, the Hunters and Space Traders have arrived. The Hunters are just that, a technologically advanced species that has evidently nothing better to do than to track down sapient prey in the jungle and decapitate them. Hunter technology is incredibly advanced - their active camouflage systems are invisible to all forms of radiological detection, and their shields can survive direct hits from nuclear weapons. However, the Hunters are obsessed with honor, and will usually do without these amenities unless they are attacking a military base. That is not to say they are good sports - every Hunter is obligated to kill themselves with a twenty-megaton plasma charge should they be disabled during the hunt. 

The Space Traders, on the other hand, just want your money. Nobody has actually seen a Space Trader, just their probes, which appeared in major settlements around the planet one day in 2038. Each Space Trader probe has a neural scanner, which allows it to communicate with the locals, and offers a wide variety of products from throughout the multiverse. From weapons to water, from soda to slaves, the Space Traders sell it, so long as it can fit through the portal the probe generates[16]. The Space Traders also accept any currency - United States dollars, bottle caps, Tom Jones bobbleheads, you name it. However, the rates for each currency fluctuates widely, so it's wise to bring several forms of currency to a Space Trader "storefront." It is a very bad idea to damage Space Trader property - those that do so often disappear through a portal, or part of them does.

Then there are the Elder Ones. Nobody knows where they came from, and why they arrived now, but in 2043 the lost continent of Mu rose from the waves, destroying many coastal cities and Europan settlements. Formless, resembling shadows and ink, the Elder Ones have dominated the Earth since before even the saurians. Now, they have returned, but apart from consuming Australasia in endless shadow, they haven't really done much. 

Despite it all, humanity continues to cling on. The remaining human governments are not nice, and in some places are merely theoretical, but they do form the last line of defense for mankind. While the regional governments, descended from the old national governments, still have plenty of authority, having power over them all are the Men in Black. An international organization formed when the UN failed, and named after the popular Will Smith movie, the Men in Black are part-INTERPOL, part-UN Peacekeeper, part-Navy SEALs. Trained to root out malign alien influence throughout the human sphere, the Men in Black ironically enforce the various treaties that keep humanity at peace with the aliens that can understand the concept. This has led them to attacking humans who are overstepping their bounds. 

Other human powers include the Posthuman Unity and the Nordic Reich. The Posthuman Unity is a group of humans from far in the future, perhaps the 20,000s, who evidently have never been attacked by aliens on Earth and have found out about this Earth recently. Wishing to aid their brethren, the Unity has crossed through dimensions and has given humanity technology not even the grays understand. However, they are the Posthuman Unity - "baseline" humans are a mere curiosity to them, and their forms are as strange and alien as some of the actual aliens that are now living on Earth. Baseline humans are so curious to them that they are sometimes dissected, to the barely-showing outrage of modern humans. Further making things difficult is the Unity's Sinocentrism - evidently, their future was dominated by China, so they seek to advance China's interests to the detriment of everybody else's. 

The Nordic Reich was a less welcome ally, but they have earned their welcome. Future humans from a universe where the Nazis took over the planet, the Nordics are blond-haired, blue-eyed exemplars of the Master Race, genetically engineered to "perfection" over centuries. Proud of their species, and having no remorse for the actions of their ancestors, the Reich was initially rebuffed by the humans, but once the Reich proved itself willing to let the "untermensch" continue to exist, and fight for their right to Earth, the humans have set aside those qualms. Of course, the Reich plans on exterminating these humans in due time, but for now they need the manpower. As for humanity, they need the Nordics' technology and military assistance, and they'd rather have those flying saucers on their side. 

[1] The grays are aware of the name the Invaders call themselves, but refuse to refer to them as such out of a belief that this gives them legitimacy. Humans wouldn't be able to pronounce it any
[2] They're not actually from Europa, that being a colony of theirs. But "prawn" and "squidface" are considered offensive, and nobody can pronounce the name of their homeworld anyway.
[3] With the Virus around, automation is a dangerous prospect. 
[4] They've been getting high off cow the entire time.
[5] They speak via voice modulators.
[6] They have to build that Void drive first.
[7] The humans immediately destroyed said Void drive once the Invaders attacked.
[8] The grays admit that there was a lot of cross-pollination a long time ago.
[9] The grays have forgotten that these beliefs were human inventions. They're really, really high. 
[10] In fact made out of folds of skin; they have to wear other clothing over it if they aren't mimicking a Man in Black.
[11] Not reptilian humanoids, thank you.
[12] The Japanese even call them "kaiju." 
[13] Energy shielding keeps the atmosphere (and unfortunate humans) in. 
[14] Of course they have laser beams on their heads. 
[15] The Formic definition of "nutrients" is far broader than our own. 
[16] About one meter by one meter.
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DinoDragoZilla17's avatar
Awesome! I love all the references here! I think I can make out the Independence Day aliens in the Invaders, Mars Attacks and War of the Worlds Martians in the Martians, Annihilus and his forces in the Universal Union and the Predators in the Hunters. I think there may be a little Cyberman in the virus and a little bit of the Shimmer in the Parasite, but I could be wrong there as both of those are pretty far from those guys and only have a slight superficial similarity. What other fictional aliens did you reference here?