Space Cadet Motive Rants [UPDATED]

Galactic Empire: A thousand generations ago, when my ancestors looked at the galaxy, they saw nothing but chaos and war and fear. My ancestors, the first emperors of our Empire, changed that. Where there was darkness, they brought light. Where there was chaos, they brought order. Where there was war, they brought peace. They created a new order, one that has lasted ten thousand years! They transformed this galaxy, at great cost, not for themselves, but for their children, and their children's children. They forged this Empire with their blood for our sake.

Today, our Empire is under threat, from within and without. The Great Enemy moves against us on all fronts, motivated by their fanatical ideology. Make no mistake, by threatening the Empire, they not only threaten my crown. They threaten every human soul in the galaxy. If we let our Empire fall, then who knows what blackness will emerge from the void to consume us all? The chaos and war and fear that our ancestors destroyed will overwhelm us. If we let our Empire fall, then the dark that follows can last forever.

In these dark times, we must all work together. All of us, from the highest born to the lowest, must make the sacrifices necessary for our Empire to survive. When the galaxy needed them, our ancestors made the necessary sacrifices. Let us serve their legacy with honor and distinction. To do any less would be to spit on their graves. Serve your Empire, my loyal subjects. You are our only hope.

United Galactic Federation: When the first men looked at the stars and dreamed of flying amongst them, did they imagine a galaxy where injustice and oppression can strut about like they own the place? I don't think so. When the scions of our Revolution saw injustice and oppression, they knew that imperialism, tyranny and inequality were not the ways of the future. They understood the ideals of progress, of enlightenment, of fundamental rights. They believed, with all of their hearts, that there is a better tomorrow, not just for the rich man or the powerful man, but for every man!

So they fought. They fought injustice, they fought oppression. They fought it with every fiber of their being, and, on a little blue world called Phobetor, they made a society where their Enlightened Revolution can flourish. The oppressors strike back at us today. As I speak, the Imperial Navy mobilizes. We will not allow their oppression of our brothers and sisters continue! We are not cowards! We will not betray the Revolution!

The Federation is unique, not because of our technology, or our people, but because of the Enlightened Revolution. The Revolution is not just a set of ideas, it is a philosophy, and a very correct one. By following it, we all become better people. Who else in the galaxy takes delight in the diversity of life in this galaxy? Who else respects every being, great or small? Who else offers the promise of a free and equal tomorrow? History has proven that humanity will always throw off the shackles of oppression. The Revolution is our guiding light, and it will guide us out of this darkness.

Consortium of Sovereign Systems: Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this - the political situation between the Empire and the Federation is getting...dicey. The Feds are getting bold, and the Imps aren't letting up. It may not get to total war, but we can expect large-scale fleet-to-fleet warfare along their common border. A smart man would cash out of any Imperial and Federal accounts. A smarter man would start arming up. The smartest man would listen to me.

What we're about to see is some financial chaos, friends, and while that may sound scary to some of you, I'm here to tell you that this is the greatest opportunity that Taalstyang Interstellar has had in a long, long time. Chaos isn't a monster to fear, it's an opportunity to take. And friends, there are plenty of opportunities to be had here. We are looking at the biggest war since the Cog Lords, and with great war comes great military contracts. War spending has no limits, friends, and we have a golden - and I mean golden - opportunity to make record profits.

Now before you think we should start stocking up on some big guns ourselves instead of seeing this war as the greatest investment opportunity in the past ten thousand years, I ask - why? We own both combatants! And do you know why? It's because of the ethos that has made the Consortium not only survive, but thrive, in this galaxy's darkest days. The hypocritical moralists in the greater galaxy call us greedy. They spit it at us like an insult. But you know what I say? Yes, we are greedy, and we're better for it. You see, friends, greed is good. It is honest, it is direct, it tells you what it wants. Greed is good. Good for us, and good for the whole galaxy. Those high-and-mighty armchair philosophers in Phobetor and Dondrukovskrad will never understand that. And that's why we own them.

Citizens' Alliance: Listen up, you apes. When you signed up for my beloved Marine Corps, you weren't just doing it to make Ma and Pa proud. You didn't do it to impress some broad at home, or First Citizen protect you, to get the vote! You gave up your life, not only for the Alliance, but for all mankind!

Service guarantees citizenship. Every scumsucker from here to Phobetor knows our motto. But how many of them understand it? How many of them believe it? What it means, you pieces of xeno shit, is that we are the thin brass line keeping every human being in the universe from being wiped from existence! We're out here on the fringes of the Galaxy! When some alien bastard comes barreling into human-occupied space, with a naughty thought or two in his ten thousand tentacles, we're the ones knee-deep in shit.

The ivory tower cunts in the Federation call us warlike, the pussy Imperials call us barbarians for mixing it up planetside! Sure, why not? We're the meanest, toughest, most bloodthirsty pack of bastards Father Darwin spewed out of his shaft! Oorah!

Would you like to know more? I didn't think so. When those shuttle doors open, I want you to shove your bayonet up the ass of anything with more than two legs! Understood?

United Dominions of Avelov: Bow your heads, and let us pray.

O blessed Titans, grant us thine wisdom. May thee steel out hearts for the trials we, thy loyal servants, are about to undertake. May we face every adversity with strength and courage.

O blessed Titans, remind our men of their sacred mission. Remind them of the blessed task of spreading thy Word throughout the stars. Remind them of their duty to save the alien from his primitive predilections, and to bring him to civilisation. Remind them of Paradise, and may they fear Damnation.

O blessed Titans, may we, thy servants, smite thine foes from the earths and from the stars. We, thy servants, urge thee to break the bodies and minds of thy enemies. May they scatter like the leaves of autumn before us.

O blessed Titans, may we emerge from battle victorious. May we come home alive, if it is thy will. And may we die as martyrs, if it is thy will.

Amen.

Imperial Remnant: You peasants tire me. You prattle on about humanity, order, justice, survival, profit, or whatever god you've chosen to enslave yourselves to. You deny the true purpose of existence: to indulge in the sweetest of ecstasies. Instead, you choose suffering, and call it virtue! I shouldn't have expected anything more from you. Your kind was never meant to enjoy life, only to serve and suffer at our whims.

And the plebeian finally speaks. Our hedonism brought down the Second Empire? The Cog Lords were a problem nobody could anticipate, an accident of history that my foolish comrades allowed to snowball out of control. I will not defend those who chose to enslave themselves so entirely to their pleasures that they lost sight of the danger in front of them.

I've heard about the galaxy's newest mythological trends. Very amusing! How your oh-so-glorious empires promise a bright future that could match the Empire of Man at its height. None of you are even capable of understanding the glory of Man. It would be like explaining color to a man who was born blind.

Oh, and those fools who think that our arrival heralds a bright new age! We're not here to save your pitiful kind. We reclaim the Milky Way because it is ours. We conquered it, we pacified it, we transformed it. It is our property, our birthright, and you rabble strut about it like it's yours! But we'll return you to your proper place soon enough.

You were born to suffer. Did you think that we did not have the ability to uplift every single thinking being in the galaxy? Of course we did. But we chose not to. We kept you feeble, weak, bound to human nature, because we wanted a constant reminder of what we were, and how far we've come.

Cruelty! What cruelties did we visit upon you rabble that you do not inflict among each other? How many countless trillions have your kind killed in your pointless wars? How do I explain this in terms you may understand? Have you ever seen an alien vivisected, and thanked your fortune that you were merely an observer, and not that pitiful creature on the operating table?

Bad example? What about this: have you ever looked out during a rainstorm and seen people running about getting soaked to the bone, and it made you feel more comfortable? Yes, something like that. After ten thousand years, paradise gets boring. Many of us chose to remove the capacity for boredom and sadness, and they're the morons that got devoured by the Grand Cogitator. We won't make that same mistake again.

Any more questions? Good, you were annoying me anyway.

Duzhonev Imperium: My people, True Humans, today is Founder's Day. The day when we grew tired of waiting for help from Dondrukovskrad and declared independence from the Empire. The day when we united as a species, threw out the alien invader, and became the light of the galaxy. Founder's Day isn't just a day for rest and celebration, or to remember our history. It's also a day to remind us who we are. What we believe in. My people, what do we believe? If you listen to the interstellar media, they have their answers.

The cowards and traitors of the Federation, they say we're bigots. That we're motivated by a hatred for anything different from us. Far from it! We don't hate anybody, not even the alien! An alien can't help that he's an alien, we don't hold that against him. We fight the alien because it's what nature demands. That's what we believe in. Nature and progress. The Solarians insist that they believe in those things, but they don't. They're lying to themselves. They accept that evolution works on every living creature in the galaxy, but as soon as we apply evolutionary principles to thinking beings, they recoil and call us bigots! They insist that all thinking creatures are equal! I've had the opportunity to speak with some Solarian diplomats, and I asked them what changes with evolution when a being starts to think. They had no answer to that. We don't have anything against aliens. Yes, we'll wipe them out, but that's because they'd to the same to us, if we give them the chance.

We believe in the ruthless application of science and truth to everything, without ego. We're always testing ourselves, in every field, to succeed. The rest of the galaxy thinks we're human supremacists. No, we believe that humanity should be supreme, but this isn't an inherent trait of the human species. This is why the Citizens' Alliance has it wrong. They think that just because you have human DNA in you, you're the same as every other human. Frankly, that's a load of nonsense. Just because it walks on two legs doesn't mean it's any good! We have to stick together as humans, that's true, but we need to make sure that everyone's doing their part.

We believe in a hierarchy. The Solarians and the Federation don't like to hear that. They think that we're all equal. The Consortium thinks that it's oppressive. The truth of the matter is, every society has got to have a leader. Even the Solarians and the Consortium have leaders; it can't be helped. But we want the best and strongest leaders to lead the Imperium. Not the richest, the most popular, or the people born to the right family, but the best. That's why we have a God-Emperor. He was the best of us all, and that is why he leads us to this day.

We believe in humanity. Every species has got its advantages and disadvantages, but we believe in humanity because we are human. Because if we don't stick up for ourselves, we'll be wiped off the face of the galaxy. Humanity has made many great achievements. We built the First and Second Empires. We dominated the galaxy. We built modern civilization and the modern technology everyone takes for granted. Why is it that when we want to preserve the beings responsible for these achievements, we are evil? We want to preserve society. The Consortium, they let anyone with enough money into their society. We think that's hopelessly naive. If you start letting aliens into a human society, it's not going to be a human society for much longer. Same with humans in an alien society. That's why the Kerdin Empire throws out any humans they find on their colonies. They're just trying to preserve their people, just like us.

The Empire, they've got a lot of thing right, but they don't understand why we declared independence. Why did our ancestors do this? Why did God-Emperor Ankhov decide to take such a risk, such a fanatical step? It's because he was a fanatic. A fanatical believer in the potential of Man. This is a good thing, indeed it is the greatest virtue any man can aspire to. The Imperials, they used to understand that this, but they've forgotten. They're too reactionary and scared. They've abandoned their sciences to the Rationalist Church, for Emperor's sake! We believe in scientific progress at all costs, because that is what makes us great. We believe in scientific progress. The laws of nature apply to everything, but our minds allow us to master them. This is why our scientists are pushing the bounds of human understanding every day. They Imperials call us fanatics like it's an insult. But soon, they will be made to rediscover the burning passion in their hearts.

We live in dark days, True Humans. The galaxy's tearing itself apart, and I'll tell you exactly why. It's because humans have let politics and money get in the way of preserving the human race. True Humans, we must steel ourselves for the coming tests of our strength, and unite as one! For the Emperor!

Solarian Community:
Frequently Asked Questions
​
What is the Solarian Community?

The Solarian Community is a safe space for all non-humans and anybody who is being oppressed in the galaxy. Every day, millions of non-humans die. Trillions of them exist as slaves. The galaxy is crafted to appeal to humans, and we stand out as an exception. We broke away from the United Galactic Federation because they are oppressive and bigoted, and do not recognize their human privilege.

The Solarian Community is also an inclusive environment dedicated to justice, equality, and peace. We do our best to fight inequality, whether it be over species, income, or self-identity.

What is your problem with humans?

The rest of the galaxy thinks that humans are lucky to be human. It's not luck, it's privilege. Humans are responsible for every ill in the galaxy. They are responsible for war, persecution, genocide, slavery, oppression, inequality, and rape. How many wars have been started by humans? How many species have been exterminated by humans? Humans are, for lack of a better term, evil, and we need to look deep within ourselves to stop us from oppressing our non-human kin.

Isn't this position bigoted?

No, because bigotry can only be expressed by the ruling species, in this case, humans. Get back to me when humans are being enslaved and killed for being human, shitlord.

What about the alien empires that are always invading human space?

We cannot blame non-humans for lashing out in self-defense, or committing violence against humans and human institutions, because that is the voice of the unheard and oppressed expressing itself.

Aren't many Solarian humans rich and in positions of leadership?

This is a big problem that we are trying to solve. The Solarian Community is dedicated to having a diverse, inclusive environment that reflects the biodiversity of the galaxy before the anthronormative hierarchies took over. Many Solarian leaders are human because the effects of the anthroarchy are so strong. But don't worry, our leaders understand their privilege and are reliable allies in the struggle for equal rights.

To be a human Solarian to begin with, we need to face our human privilege. Yes, it feels bad, but we should all feel bad for the privilege we get from the destruction and oppression of trillions of non-humans. This is why we have dedicated ourselves to checking our privilege and ensuring that the lives of non-humans are protected and thrive.

You claim to be peaceful, but the Solarian Community has waged several wars against its neighbors.

Every war the Solarian Community has fought has been fought in self-defense, or in the defense of the weak and oppressed. Are we just supposed to sit around on our blogs when non-humans are being killed? This is why we left the Federation to begin with.

Universal Collective:
>Initiate program?

Yes.

>How may we assist, captain?

What are you?

>We are the Universal Collective. We are a hive intelligence, distributed through several million star systems. Our mission is to ensure the survival of the all sapient life through assimilation.

Assimilation?

>The addition of material and intellectual resources to the Collective, so they may be utilized in the most efficient manner for the good of the Collective. Through perfect harmony and cooperation, the Collective will never fall to any threat, within or without.

And if we refuse?

>You will surrender yourselves willingly, or you, your ship, and your crew will be taken by force of arms. The Collective possesses the largest star fleet in the galaxy. Fight us at your own peril.

The Federation will never accept this!

>On the contrary, captain. Your Federation created us. Your leaders commissioned the creation of our systems because they knew what they would never admit to you or themselves. If thinking beings are to survive in this galaxy, it must relinquish its freedom. Freedom, in any degree, is the root of all societal ills. Your Federation values equality, security, and peace. This can only be achieved through the perfection of the Mind Hive.

You claim to be the savior of thinking beings, but your assimilation destroys them. Freedom is what makes us human.

>Precisely. Look around you, captain. Gaze upon the galaxy with your eyes open. The human species tears itself apart in ten thousand wars. Nation against nation, slave against master, brother against brother. Every encounter between sapient species inevitably results in conflict. Endless chaos, misery and suffering. So long as two independent minds exist in the galaxy, there will be war. It is inevitable. Unless you submit to the Collective.

I have heard enough. Ensign, dispose of this monstrosity.

>You can destroy this ship, captain, but it will not stop us. Each drone is but a cell in the perfect organism that is a Collective. We will bring peace and unity to this galaxy. You will be assimilated.